Some support groups are meant to be a healthy vehicle for managing mental health concerns. However, putting people who have mood disorders together is the very recipe for conflict and crazy-making. I invested 6 years of my life trying to make a valuable contribution in the leadership of a particular Bi-polar group. What I will say is that all of my efforts, designing a website and training facilitators were met with hostility and jealousy. So for the priceless gift of peace of mind, I respectfully walked away. Some of the services which are meant to help in developing one’s wellness, actually serve as a lion’s den of psychosis. I will never join another support group again: either psychiatric or spiritual. If one joins a group, it is better to just be an anonymous member and do not for any reason volunteer your time in the leadership of the organization. It is there that the skeletons reside—and they are more horrifying than you could ever imagine. Do not seek support from groups, believe me. Support must come from a much more creative effort and a much more organic arrangement.
Better Together
Stay Away from Groups
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Hang in there, Derrick. I’ve had similar experiences, leading to disappointment and tremendous hurt. At the same time, just remember, there are people whom you have helped by your contributions – even if those contributions did not lead to the ultimate outcomes you envisioned and desired. And while other people’s hostilities and jealousy are both absurd and profoundly upsetting, ultimately they cannot rob you of the skills you gained through your efforts, and some of the positive experiences / relationships you probably also had along the way. I still struggle with only seeing the downfalls, the drawbacks, the disappointments, and the hurts in situations – especially when I invest myself fully, and all I mean is to contribute and support. But when I give myself a little time and space, I am getting better at taking a step back, and seeing the good things I gained (and not just glass-half-empty good things like, “well, I learned I will never do that again”!), in addition to the unexpected, self-absorbed, petty mindsets and behaviors I encountered. I’ve also moved away from support groups (with lots of damaged thinking and behavior) into social groups based on things I like to do. Some of those folks have their own unpleasant issues, too, but at least the groups are focused on activities and fun things, rather than on wading around in all of the damage. Best of luck to you!
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Hi Badmuthax,
Your words are exactly what the doctor ordered. I so appreciate the ideas you have here. In particular, it was helpful to read that I should shift from support groups to social groups. I’ve taken your advice and I am joining a few meetup.com activities such as Board Game Night and Volleyball at the Beach on Sunday morning. What a wonderful way to honor God than to be in the open air and having good times with others–much more enjoyable than sitting in a pew. Thanks for the good vibes! Wishing you well.
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Derrick, The inner wisdom that comes from knowing and following my purpose continues to amaze me. I believe we are here to learn from our mistakes and keep going always fine tuning our mindfulness. You have a big heart to endure a hostile environment for 6 yrs, and perhaps some stubbornness to have stayed for so long. When we love first ourself, this is not selfish narcissism. I believe its in loving ourself first we begin to know our purpose and our fulfillment grows from there. God,s blessings!
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