Hello! Thanks for reaching out and sharing your experience of improvement with CYBCYL! I’m so happy to hear that you’ve had such a positive shift in mood and clarity of thinking.

The experience you are having is more common than you might think. It sounds like you are describing something similar to orthorexia, which is the experience of being hyper-focused on eating healthy (read: “right”) foods and a fear of eating unhealthy (read: “wrong”) foods. Your fears around eating may have many contributing variables, including our steady media exposure to the superfood or worst food of the day, and rampant confusion about what is healthy and what isn’t. There’s a lot of conflicting and confusing information out there, so it can make us feel that any food could be ‘wrong’ somehow. You might find that working with a therapist who specializes in relationship with food or getting yourself a workbook that helps you explore this could be really helpful.

From a nutritional perspective, I would encourage you to remind yourself of the basics:  food is the fuel that our bodies (bones included) rely on to survive and thrive! We need a variety of minerals, vitamins, phytonutrients, protein, healthy fats, and fiber to supply all of our organs and systems in order for them to operate optimally. We don’t have to be perfect with this, but often our physical symptoms will give us great information about whether we are in the general ballpark of getting what we need. I think the digestive tract can be especially helpful if you are having a hard time with appetite, or lack of interest in food.

For example, zinc, HCl, and digestive enzymes can often make eating much more appealing if digestion in the stomach is limited (this might result in feeling ‘sick’ as you mentioned instead of hungry) as our digestive tract slows down as we age, sometimes requiring a bit of support, or food allergies/sensitivities can make us scared to eat the ‘wrong’ thing because we end up with digestive upset or feeling tired after a meal as you mentioned. These are just a couple of examples of how our relationship with food can be complicated, or connected directly, to physical symptoms we might be trying to manage. Have you explored digestion with your dietician or other practitioner as a potential point of intervention that could be helpful?

My digestive system has been “looked at”. I have a slight hiatal hernia. After detecting it the doctor put me on acid blockers which quickly made symptoms worse. Apparently, I need more acid not less for stomach comfort and better digestion. I think my system is healthy enough, it is more the anxiety and stress that keeps me from eating. The more I look at this, I think my problem is the lack of self-control to make the effort to plan, prepare and then make myself eat. Eating is a “should” in my mind, not something I want to do. And realistically and actually is something I have to do for life. Maybe it’s my life I’m not excited about, not as in I want to end my life, it’s just that my life is just blah. 

Thanks for sharing this. Yes, increased HCl is commonly much more helpful than suppressing it, so I’m glad you remedied that.

It does sound like the anxiety and stress is the underlying piece that needs care. The lack of motivation commonly results from the stress/anxiety. Building up social connections, spending time in nature, and finding space for things that allow you to be in touch with core parts of yourself (creativity, play, contribution to others) can improve our sense of hopefulness and inspiration in life. Is there something you can do this weekend/week to support yourself in any of these ways? If you feel like it’s hard to identify what you enjoy, consider things you ‘used to’ enjoy, even as a kid (art, music, sports, etc.) and try to do one of those to see how it feels. Let us know how it goes for you. Best!

Thank you