Better Together

Not doing so well and its my own fault

Updated on September 25, 2020 in Share Challenges
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3 on September 22, 2020

I have not been doing much with the program, I get on kicks where I get almost everything except games done every day then I slack off. Same with everything else in my life.
I spend almost ALL of my time alone and have been that way for years. Planned to change it then COVID-19 happened…
I still haven’t got everything done, I do need help, I enlisted a tree company, but they fell behind schedule and have never shown up. I’m having issues with my feet, have no medical insurance, and only tonight found something that might work to fix my physical pain that is slowing me down and severely depressing me….

I cannot keep up it seems with all that needs fixing on my house and vehicles and body and…. life.
I was going to hire someone to help clean my house too, but I’m not sure I can afford it now.

I kept thinking I should get copies of my keys made because of how I lose things and now I have a huge and possibly expensive mess with my car, I have lost all the keys and am down to just one for my truck. They kept falling off the carabiners. I ordered the kind of Caribbeans cops and security forces use to put an end to that and lost the package they came in.
It shouldn’t be that hard to pull the ignition out, but unfortunately in this car I have to drill out the bolts and in order to get a drill to them, I have to take the entire dash unity out. It was bad enough to find I was gonna have to take the ignition out, then I recovered from that setback and related anxiety, then I found I had to drill the bolts out, and also cannot get replacements for them, so I will have to drill new holes, another setback and crippling stress, then I bounced back and got to the bolts and found I have to take the whole dash out and I haven’t recovered from that yet. That was on the heels of similar series of disappointments with my truck and where the neighbor ended up stealing money from me and tried to get some of my tools when I hired him to help me…. and I ended up in credit card debt having it fixed by a shop anyway.
The person I hired before that helped me tear my rotting shed roof off. I checked references but I’m pretty sure he stole my air compressor.
My foot keeps me from the fierce independence I’m usually pretty defined by, and people keep stealing from me, not showing up and etc, and I slack off on healing my mind and everything else I need to do, and I can’t afford to go to a pro to fix my body or the rest of what’s wrong. and if I got my head together I might just be able to at least clean my own house right, but I prioritized other things in front of it and failed to accomplish much of anything all summer/year.
Prioritizing brain health more now.

P.S. Does coach Zoe know if you can renew a membership when the year is up?

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mother.star@hotmail.com 0 on September 23, 2020

I found something for the physical pain. Physical therapists and doctors with youtube channels uploaded stuff and I see why I wasn’t getting anywhere on the physical health part. I need to stretch for certain things, yes, but I probably have tendonitis in my achilles and that is why the stuff I need to do for one thing is aggravating pain. My tendon isn’t ready for stretches…
I am back on my brainfit program and already feel a little better, especially since I have a way forward with the pain. I have a long way to go, but I have a little more hope than I had yesterday.

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Coach
Coach_Zoe 1 on September 24, 2020

Hi there-

Great to hear you are getting back to it and feeling the benefits already. Hope is a powerful motivator!

And to answer your question, yes, you can certainly renew your membership as long as you want! 

Zoe

mother.star@hotmail.com on September 25, 2020

cool. I need to look into how, come january.
I am resting my foot now, must have my car taken care of by someone else, will have the tree brought down in spring instead, and HOPEFULLY will get weather wrap, fascia and soffits on the back of my house tomorrow. I ran into more setbacks today but it didn’t destroy me like it did before. I will have CC debt for having vehicles and equipment fixed, but I will get out of it… presumably.
I pulled the siding out, unloaded/uncluttered somewhat in the shed and found I need screws it was too late to get. But I painted the siding which I planned to do next time I”m off and HOPEFULLY it will balance out… I am terrified of getting up there and finding its impossible or extra complicated for some reason. It’s dangerous having a ladder up that high with no one around to hold it or spot you but like always I do what I must. I guess I’ll post pictures of before and after if I succeed in any of it. I’ll get the screws and try tomorrow…. Crippled by fear means I fail automatically, but often these days I become scared to even try.

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