About 20 years ago my husband listened to Dr. Dobson’s Focus on the Family while driving home from work as they discussed undiagnosed Adults with ADD. He came home and shared that he thought I had ADD. Shortly after I went to the Dr. and we did some testing in the form of Questionairs for me and my husband and my mother-in-law who lived with us. I was diagnosed with depressin and ADD over the next 10 years tried several different medications and antidepressants. Finally one Thanksgiving Day I started Adderall with the Wellbutrin I was taking. I did not notice any difference that day but My husband raved about what a good day I had. I have heard over the last 20 years that I need to take every thought captive and I need to do this and I need to do that. When I can’t seem to do anything that I agree that I need to do in any consistent manner. In the last 10 years I have been on and off medication as we could afford it. Over Christmas this year I bought the Book Change your Brain Change your Life. So much hope in the book for me! But unfortunately in the last 3 years of counceling with my husband and alone I have asked him to read about ADD I offered the first book I found that explained how I feel and how he is feeling. The Effects of ADHD on Marriage was the book I only asked him to read about 30 pages but he refused. I feel so alone and that he will continue to behave toward me in ways that make my symptoms worse. Any Suggestions of how I might get him to educate himself so maybe we can together work on our marriage and be successful. I believe he loves me but he has determined that he knows what I need to do and if I would just listen to him and do what he says I will be able to be the Godly wife we both want me to be. He will be leaving to go to another state to work for the next six months and I am hopefull that during that time I can change my diet and other things to improve my emotional, physical and spiritual health. I’m scared that alone I can not make the changes that need to take place in the marriage to save it. Any help would be great.
Better Together
Need advice on Spouce who first suggested I have ADD but now will not learn about ADD
Hi Lisawog43: Thank you for being part of our community. I am sorry to hear about the pain in your relationship. Get a copy of the DVD Healing ADD that was shown on PBS. I did the show with my wife Tana who has ADD and we talk candidly about it. Be patient with him. Notice what you like about him more than what you don’t. Work on getting yourself better, it often helps relationships too.
Thanks, I am saving money to buy the Healing ADD in 30 days series. My husband is moving to Texas for at least 6 months and then I may go there or he may come back to Colorado. I plan on working on myself with out the daily stress of the relationship. I have been dealing with a extreem amount of stress over the last two years and am taking Citalopram and Adderall. 10 days ago we started weaning off Citalopram and added Wellbutrin. Until yesterday I did OK but yesterday I crashed so bad it was terrifying. Today I took a whole dose of Citalopram today and will give it a week or so and try again. I think cuting dose in half for 10 days is too fast for me. Maybe reduce 1/4 of the dose for a week at a time or something will be better. I have increased my exercise and started eating organic more than I did in the past. My home was already chemical free for the last 23 years since our daughter had asthma issues. After removing all chemicals she has been fine. Im sure this has helped all of our health.
You are doing a lot of good things to get yourself better. I hope you will be very, very careful before making any life-changing decisions. Dr. Amen gave you some good advice and this online community is here for all of us to support one another. Please hang in there and know that others care.
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Lisa
thank you for sharing!
You are incredibly brave!
As much as you are going through, your husband is also going through!!
i like the advice to have hubby watch the videos with you and perhaps before he leaves!
Focus on the positives and know there is HOPE!!
God bless
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