I find the best inspiration  can be found through something that moves us on a soul level. For me it is art or live performance of music, theater, dance, etc. Find what inspires you and seek some out! It can be energizing, and enhancing to all elements of self-care. -Coach Zoe

I suffer from depression as well but I agree, music is like an anti depressant. Find that one song that makes you wanna move and listen to it then find another then another and listen over and over if you have to because it will stir something inside you that you thought was long gone. Bruno Mars, Bill Withers, Justin Timberlake, etc etc. are what do it for me. The upbeat happy songs are best. Even “Don’t Worry, Be Happy” by bobby mc ferrin works for me. Let the music move you and the fun will follow and before you know it you’ll have a smile on your face! I wish you happiness and joy!

You fall asleep when you try to meditate, so are you getting enough sleep?

The most I sleep is 2 – 3 hours in a row. On and off I get about 5 – 6 hours per night. That’s the way I have always been, unless I’m physically exhausted, then I sleep better and longer.

Well I in the one page miracle I have listed items like increased peace, less stress, to have friends, and I don’t have these things and do not see a way to achieve them. I have a very physically demanding and stressful job, and I have a very busy time helping my children and trying to stay on top of everything else. In the journal I pretty much write the same thing every time, I’m always grateful for my wife, and children and that I have a job that that allows us to manage from day to day. So after writing the same this over an over it begins to feel like I’m on a hamster wheel. My days start at 5:55am and end around 10pm so not a lot of time to rest. Weekends are for trying to catch up on all the things I couldn’t get to during the week and helping my kids with their homework

I don’t know anyone that I could text or email.

Imb2016, please remember that you do have us (at BFL) on your side.  You could possibly make friends at a church, too, but you have to give them time to get to know you. (If you volunteer to help in some way, it usually speeds up the process.)  Bring the family, or go alone.  And you do not have to be a member, to talk to a pastor.  He could be a valuable friend.

I appreciate the help. I’ve studied religion and philosophy on and off for years and still do, ( I have half a dozen books on my night stand right now, including the bible, and books ranging from metaphysics to kabbalah and zen). I haven’t felt comfortable in any of the churches I’ve attended, I’ve tried several denominations. In addition I have very little free time of any sort and since my job is so punishing to my body, I get hurt regularly, that when I get downtime I just want to rest.

Thank you for the info. but I’m not reading for entertainment, or pleasure. Dr. Amens book helped me learn why I behave the way I do and that information has helped me be a better father and husband. I read all these books to try to figure out what, if any, my purpose in life might be, or at the least, learn to how find a way to enjoy whatever time I have left on this planet. I know how to take care of my family but I’ve lost track as to who I am or what I’m meant to do, besides work and raise a family.

I hear you. Sometimes engaging with others socially can renew our view of ourselves, and I was suggesting a book group as a way of meeting others with similar interests, but there are many ways to do that, so find some way that works for you. When we lose track of who we are, it may take time to find out what we are interested in, and what parts of ourselves we may want to explore more, so be patient with yourself, and enjoy the process. You might try out an art or writing class, join a walking group, or ask a friend to explore new parts of your city with you. Finding new friends, or renewing old friendships, can indirectly help us to find ourselves! 🙂

Imb2016, what would you do for entertainment or pleasure, if you could do anything? What would you do for entertainment or pleasure if you had all of the friends you want? (And Netflix does serve a purpose.)

Thank you again for the help, If I could do anything I wanted I would spend time in the mountains or explore/hike in exotic areas, Amazon, Himalayas,….. I generally don’t watch TV.

When I get stuck with finding things I am grateful for – I start with the most basic things… for example: I am grateful to have clean running water, I am grateful my car is running well, I am grateful to have clean clothes to wear, I am grateful to have food in the fridge etc.

Thank you for the advice, I haven’t been on this site in months so I was surprised to see a new post. I actually do this already, and tell my kids to do the same. We’re fortunate that I have a job and food on the table. I could lose my job at any time so I appreciate the fact that I have one and that we can survive on what I make.

Thank you for the suggestions. I’ve read “The Purpose Driven Life”,and many more like it, I’m barely able to pay my bills now and can’t afford a Life Coach. As far as work goes, as a PTA I do not have any options to alter my job responsibilities, and if they knew how much I hurt I would lose my job.  Starting a new career at 58 is a hard sell.

I am curious.  What is a PTA?  — And do you get any vacation time?

Physical Therapist Assistant, and my vacation and sick time are the same, so I often use up vacation time when either my kids or I am sick.  Vacation time has to be submitted two months in advance, and there are black out dates.

I admire your integrity and toughness — your commitment to your wife and children! You are intelligent and seek knowledge.  You don’t fill your mind with the junk on TV.   Could you ask your children to take on some of the work at home so that you can have some time to recoup from the week?  Maybe the older kids can help the younger ones with homework?  The same God who wants us to be faithful to our families said that everyone needs to take at least one day a week to relax and enjoy. — And if you would lose your job if they knew how much you hurt, maybe God wants you somewhere else?

Thank you for the help and advise.  Without going into too much detail, both my kids need help with homework and other things, (it helps being a therapist), homework alone can take between 3 – 4 hours each weeknight except Friday. School projects are sometimes worked, or completed on the weekends.  Both my kids have to work very hard to maintain good grades and I don’t want to burden them with additional work at this time.

Hi IMb, it seems like you have a lot of knowlege, yet something is triggering resistance in you to moving forward. I would recommend a talk with a therapist who will work with you on a treatment plan. However, if nothing changes….nothing changes….one gratitude per day helps

Hi and thank you for the input,, however I can’t afford a therapist. I am always grateful that I have a home and family to come home to at the end of the day.

Thank you for the info. actually I got the VA to set me up with a CPAP after a bout of a-fib that put me in the hospital, I haven’t got the bill yet, but it’s going to be a dozy.  My own VA doctor told me that I did not have sleep apnea, but the test said otherwise, so I’m grateful for that. Still don’t sleep well,but at least I’m not snoring anymore and my heart rate is normal.

I am glad you are getting that help. Thanks for responding to me. I am only a BFL subscriber too and I often feel uncomfortable posting for other people and even if it is a subject for myself.

Good luck with the audio section of BFL. At first I could not do hypnosis audios because it brought up all my anxieties at once or I fell asleep. I tried the music audios and gradually I became more comfortable especially with the meditation audios, but still fall asleep, etc. at times. You can learn stuff about yourself even when you fall asleep. Somebody once said that meditation is not the deep breathing or the repetition of words, but the drawing oneself back to the practice. Anyway that is the hard part for me. Even in everyday stuff I find it hard to get back to exercise for example if something draws me away.

Hi, Sorry but I’m not sure what a BFL subscriber is. I became interested in Dr. Amen’s program after seeing him on PBS. I found his book about changing your brain to be very helpful in that it gave me a better understanding on what makes me “tick”.  I rarely go to this site anymore. As far as the CPAP goes, I’m sure my O2 numbers are better because of it, but I can’t stand to have a mask on my face for any length of time. I’m going to keep at it because the alternatives aren’t good.

The CPAP will help you while you work on other sleep related solutions. Good for you that you are trying. I tried unsuccessfully  to get my Dad sleep therapy. He had AFib. He was independent until 90 and then decided he didn’t have to take his meds and died at 93. He would have lived until at least 100 otherwise.  I did better when I was switched to a BIPAP. 2 levels of pressure allowed me to breathe in and out more easily. I got a few good years of help with a BIPAP. Eventually though the masks did not fit my face well and caused sores. At that time, my apneas were reduced to 9 and 1/2 per hour. This is not normal, but at this level I do not get coverage for testing by Medicare. I respect my sleep doc’s opinion. He said I would be OK at this level. I have worked on other things that effect my sleep: darkness in the bedroom, a sleep mask, timing, elevated head, neti-pot to clear post-nasal drip, acid reflux therapy, and most surprising an air purifier (see consumer reports for product ratings).

Have you tried the Love and Kindness meditation? I use it as a reward. It is short and easy. Good for practicing deep breathing which I think will help with strengthening my diaphragm and have health benefits. Most of all calming, self-compassion and compassion for others.

Not sure what Love and Kindness meditation is, I have a very busy schedule between my patients at work and my family at home there’s not much down time, so any meditation would need to be short. It’s 9:20 right now and I just finished helping my son with his homework, by this time of day I’m pretty fried.

A bfl subscriber is just a customer of the Brain Fit Life website. The Love and Kindness meditation is at the end of the list of Meditation Audios on the site. It is so short and easy to remember, 5+ minutes. So you could do it by yourself without turning on your computer. I have heard different versions of it from a friend. Doing it on the computer though is very soothing and for me a way to reset my mind. 

Also, Thank you for your service. My Dad was a vet. He served in WWII in the Pacific.
How to get to the meditations: Click the tab “Strengthen Your Mind”, click “Brain enhancement music”, then on the left hand side under select category, choose Meditation Audio, then click on Love and Kindness Audio, turn on the sound if not already on. You will find your way whatever you choose to do. Everyone is different. I am no doctor and may not know what is best for you. Good luck.