Thanks for reaching out, jesposito. First, I’m sorry to hear about what feels right now like relationship losses, and would at the same time encourage you to remain hopeful that since these two friends were in your life for so long, they may circle back again at some point. I do believe there are times when we are closer with some of our friends, and less close at other times. This has to do with so many factors, but certainly the ways that we resonate (or don’t) with one another at a particular time in our lives can be one. If these are important relationships to you, reach out to them again in the future and don’t consider those severed relationships, just ones that may need a break right now.

To build a broader network of friends and community, I would encourage you to seek out a resource such as www.meetup.com for groups of people with similar interests such as hiking, book club, self-growth, health, art, languages, etc. These can be great places to find common ground with folks to start building more long-term friendships. Other options are volunteering to meet like-minded folks, or take a class at a local community center.

I would also remind you as you seek out new friendships that we get different pieces of what we need, and we provide pieces of what we have to give, with different friends. For instance, one friend may be a great person to laugh with and do more lighthearted things, while another friend may be more spiritual and offer us deeper, contemplative conversations and connection. One is not better than the other, each is an important piece of what we need in this life. Additionally, I think we each have many different sides to our whole selves, and each of our friends can bring out different aspects of our personality, be it humorous, emotional, serious, silly, or kind. It can help to have several options for friends so that we are not dependent on one or two to meet all of our needs, and then become disappointed or disheartened when that doesn’t happen (because it can’t!).

I hope that helps. Let us know how your friendship-building goes!

Best-Zoe

Hi Zoe, I tried to send my response by hitting the Reply button to your message but it would not send so I am sending it by starting a new discussion box. Perhaps the IT people can look into this. 🙂

Here is my reply to your message:

Thanks so much for your thoughtful reply, Zoe. I have heard of meet ups and this may be a good option for the future in making friends with common interests. I agree with all of the points you made about friendships and will consider this going forward. I do think I need to find more growth-oriented friends who can handle my “intensity” (aka passion for personal growth). Sending you best wishes, Janet 

Hi Zoe, I tried to send my response by hitting the Reply button to your message but it would not send so I am sending it by starting a new discussion box. Perhaps the IT people can look into this. 🙂

Here is my reply to your message:

Thanks so much for your thoughtful reply, Zoe. I have heard of meet ups and this may be a good option for the future in making friends with common interests. I agree with all of the points you made about friendships and will consider this going forward. I do think I need to find more growth-oriented friends who can handle my “intensity” (aka passion for personal growth). Sending you best wishes, Janet