Better Together

Advice for spouse and ADD journey

Updated on April 13, 2016 in ADD Support
11 on January 30, 2016

I have read your books and fit the picture of an overactive anterior cingulate gyrus (and I’ve had multiple concussions).  I have been working on myself for years and upped the game with this website recently. Excited!

In our relationship, we noticed a pattern of the same problems. I had purchased your ADD book and asked him if he had been tested before. He took your online test (classic ADD) and went to his family physician. There are no specialists that we know of who deal with Adult ADD here in Toronto. Here is what went down: GP prescribed Ritalin trial, one slow release in the morning – 2 weeks. Spouse: somewhat improved ability to focus, no change in appetite, felt dramatic increase in “spaciness”, evening over-energetic and inability to focus (rebound?). GP prescribed higher dose of the same – 2 weeks. Spouse: increase of all of the above. GP prescribed Vyvace – 2 weeks. Spouse: improved ability to focus, loss of appetite, no “spaciness”, no rebound effect but couldn’t sleep. After 3-4 days the effects in all (excluding appetite loss) seemed to diminish.  GP prescribed same dose of Vyvace – 4 weeks. GP said that it’s normal to build a tolerance and rather than increasing the dosage, he told him to not take the pills everyday to see if he could decrease his tolerance and increase the effect on days that he did take the pills.

This is where we are now.  My heart sank because when he started taking these it seemed like the absent-mindedness faded and a thoughtful side of him appeared that wasn’t there before. (He said he noticed more around him and felt like his thought life was “quieter”. He noticed my feelings and didn’t pace the house while he brushed his teeth. He didn’t forget all of the smaller insignificant things as well: didn’t walk out without his keys even once, remembered to turn lights off, did what he needed to get done that day, etc.). I had been feeling like the parent rather than the spouse for so long that our dynamics weren’t healthy and I was very unhappy (he was happy apart from noticing that I was unhappy).  Your ADD book gives me hope…but his GP doesn’t follow your pattern of prescribing.

I feel guilty. I think there is hope for our relationship if he addresses his ADD (and I continue looking after my tendencies). He feels that I only love the version of him on medication (which isn’t true, but at the same time might make or break us). And his family doctor doesn’t acknowledge that he is still in a relationship on his “off medication” days.  I don’t know what to do and want to be supportive of his journey to a healthy and fully functioning brain (with or without me) but without professional help I just don’t know what to do.

 
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0 on February 1, 2016

Hi Erica:  Thanks for joining our community and writing.  Sometimes treating ADD is easy, sometimes not so much.  I would have you both tread Healing ADD and see if other types are involved.  Have him take the Brain Health Assessment on this site, as well as WebNeuro and send me the results.  Yes, there is hope, but it takes consistent effort.  Tell him you love him, and you want you both to be the best versions of yourself to have the best marriage.  I really love Dr. John Thornton in Toronto.  You can also make a phone appointment with one of our physicians.

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0 on February 2, 2016

Thank you! How does he (or I) send you the results? He finished both of the assessments. I don’t see anywhere to send messages on the site other than posting to this forum.  I told him about your message also and he wrote down Dr. John Thornton…we will see if perhaps he could help!

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3 on February 3, 2016

Email them to Customer Care <customercare@mybrainfitlife.com>. I will tell the team to expect them and forward to me.

on February 25, 2016

Hello docamen
I have suffered all of my life with primary insomnia.
Have been involved in abusive relationships.
Have had numerous head injuries.
I am excited to have found your site.
I wrote you earlier re the familial sleep disorder diagnosis and treatment being strong cocktail of meds past 8 yrs.
You recommended me to contact Dr. Thornton in Toronto ( I live in Ottawa on Canada) I have just heard back from him and he is unable to get the isotopes to do the scans for 3 months now. I am so anxious to have my brain correctly diagnosed.I have taken your test for ADD and I am positive I have this! Started some of the recommended supplements and trying to wean down on sleep meds. I am so fearful of not sleeping! Over the years I have taken trazadone which was a huge problem solver and then after a year, it stopped working and has never worked since. This seems to happen with all meds I take for sleep so the neurologist treating me now has me on a cocktail which includes seroquel, imovane and lyrica. I stick to a regimented sleep protocol but always feel tired. My family and 2 of my 4 children suffer the same fate. My neurologist wants to do genetic testing for familial insomnia but I am convinced more than ever that there is another reason to have this condition. I used to not be able to shut my brain off at night and suffered anxiety but since retirement 2 years ago, these are not huge issues.Any suggestions appreciated

on February 25, 2016
Email them to Customer Care <customercare@mybrainfitlife.com>. I will tell the team to expect them and forward to me.From docamen

 Hello DocAmen!
He has forwarded you the results!  It took some time but they should be there now.  Thank you again so much.

on February 27, 2016

Hello Mcleese3,

I think you probably intended to start a new thread rather than responding on the thread I started for my question.  You can copy and paste your question onto a new one to get the attention of the support staff.  I think leave it here will take longer to have it read since he has already responded to me.  

Hello docamen
I have suffered all of my life with primary insomnia.
Have been involved in abusive relationships.
Have had numerous head injuries.
I am excited to have found your site.
I wrote you earlier re the familial sleep disorder diagnosis and treatment being strong cocktail of meds past 8 yrs.
You recommended me to contact Dr. Thornton in Toronto ( I live in Ottawa on Canada) I have just heard back from him and he is unable to get the isotopes to do the scans for 3 months now. I am so anxious to have my brain correctly diagnosed.I have taken your test for ADD and I am positive I have this! Started some of the recommended supplements and trying to wean down on sleep meds. I am so fearful of not sleeping! Over the years I have taken trazadone which was a huge problem solver and then after a year, it stopped working and has never worked since. This seems to happen with all meds I take for sleep so the neurologist treating me now has me on a cocktail which includes seroquel, imovane and lyrica. I stick to a regimented sleep protocol but always feel tired. My family and 2 of my 4 children suffer the same fate. My neurologist wants to do genetic testing for familial insomnia but I am convinced more than ever that there is another reason to have this condition. I used to not be able to shut my brain off at night and suffered anxiety but since retirement 2 years ago, these are not huge issues.Any suggestions appreciated

From Mcleese3

 

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0 on February 28, 2016

If you could come to one of our clinics to get scanned that could give us some insight into your brain.  The genetic test could also give your doctor some insight.  Use the hypnosis sleep audio and brain relaxing music.  Chronic problems take time to figure out, but we are often successful.

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0 on March 16, 2016

Hello Sir, he has sent in his results a little while back but didn’t hear back.  Perhaps it went to spam?  His doctor just increased his dose…it is effective for a few days then wanes again. Is this normal?  He is interested in Dr. Thornton also..we’ll see if he can get in.

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1 on April 3, 2016

What is the update on your husband?

on April 13, 2016

He has been taking supplements (ginseng, ginko biloba, multivitamin, omega 3, 6, 9 oils) and it seems that something has been interfering with his Vyvase.  He’s on 60mg and thought they weren’t very effective…until he missed taking his regular supplements.  He couldn’t believe the difference.  Could it be anything other than those?  Or one of those supplements or all combined?

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0 on April 4, 2016

Hello! I would like to clarify also that he is my common-law spouse…we aren’t married although we’ve been together for years.  All of this came up actually because the thought of marriage came up. He just had an appointment and they upped the Vyvase to one of the highest doses available.  The doctor mentioned that if he wanted to change the type or stop taking them he would likely suffer from withdrawal symptoms (but didn’t explain what that meant).  The last dosage seemed to be effective for about 3-5 days and then lost a lot of the effectiveness.  He says it is still better than nothing and as the dosage is increased it lasts a bit longer although still less than a week.  

He hasn’t asked for a referral to Dr. Thornton, I’m not sure why.  He has taken your A.D.D. online course and has looked through the Healing ADD Book as well.

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