I am in a relationship which I did not want to admit is bad for me. I seem to lack judgement and jump into things in spite of many red flags. I have learned that I have an impulsive brain type but I am working this program and planning to strengthen my PFC. I am very grateful for finding this program. I do not know why I allowed myself to suffer so much. Writing this is my assignment for today. I seem to have isolated myself and have centered my life around this individual.
Better Together
New to this and learning to forgive myself for my poor judgement.
Updated on June 24, 2016 in
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I’m so glad you reached out, and are working on improving your brain functioning. That’s wonderful! There are many reasons why we may end up in unhealthy relationships, often to do both with our family of origin modeling and our fundamental sense of self worth. What stands out to me is that you are aware that it may not be healthy for you, and this is really important. We can only change that which we are aware needs changing! Isolating can make matters much worse, so I would strongly encourage you to reach out to friends or other community members for perspective and support. Do you have friends or a counselor you can talk to about this?
Yes I have some friends and I have a new therapist, but it is hard to get an appointment with a therapist in this area. My best friends are on email or are in worse relationships than I am. I am trying to make some healthy friends.
I am new to this and I don’t know how much we can share, but I know exactly what you are going through. My therapist tells me I am the most “resilient” person she has ever met. My lack of self worth led to some very poor decisions. Never realized I was a Survivor until she finally convinced me I was. If I can be of any help at all, please contact me. My healing thoughts and prayers are with you.
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Good for you. As Dr. Amen says “be friends with people who are as healthy as you can stand!”
If you need a therapist or coach who has more regular availability, call us and we can set you up with someone either in person or on the phone if you are far from one of our clinics. 855-419-2872.
thanks everyone. Since I have started this program my life has turned around. I am now moving to a town In NC at the end of the summer that has everything I like to do and is near my family who have been very supportive of me.
there are many people there who are like minded. It is a center for organic food. I now see that I had a choice about what I was constantly thinking. I feel empowered and optimistic. I look and feel differently. My goals in the Daily Miracle are coming to fruition.
Thank you all. It is exciting to look forward and feel in charge of my life, but it is not all roses. I am ending a relationship with a person I care very much about, but the relationship was not healthy for me. Sometimes there is a lot of pain that I have to work through. this website has some resources that help me.
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Well I am able to report that I have ended the toxic relationship. It was very challenging to do and I do not feel as bad as I thought I would. I think I have been doing my grieving for months. I do not understand how or why I was taken in by someone who used me and is probably a sociopath. I ignored the huge red flags of prison and alcoholism and drug use. I was put at risk knowingly for some major diseases stemming from the past. Here I am a financially stable self made woman and I fell for it hook line and sinker. What does that say about my brain type. I know I like excitement and some risk. Now I am trying to fill the voids left by all the turmoil this relationship caused me with more constructive things. Not easy to shift gears.
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Thank you friend! I would never have written if I hadn’t read your story. We have the exact same past. After 37 yrs. of DV abuse, off and on, in some form, I can tell you that after all these years, the best solution I have found has been this program. Yet after feeling wonderful in the start, it was like a New Year’s resolution, I slacked off. What is with that???? I really hope the forum will give us some guidance. Somehow the abusers have convinced us “we are not worthy”.I am SO hoping the forum can give both of us the guidance. Thank you dear friend for your courage! Bless you!
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Congratulations on developing self awareness! It is the key to our individual progress😉
I wish I could understand. I still love the person and sometimes struggle when I see him. I must admit that I really don’t know who is the real him. He can be so nice. Such a complex person. I cannot find the anger that others feel in similar situations. Part of my brain must be damaged. I am still too giving.
It will all be history in about 6 weeks when I move to my new town and my new life. My friend suggested I read Finding Your Own North Star(claiming the life you were meant to live) by Martha Beck, and I think it is a worthwhile endeavor and others could benefit from reading it. I know I was not on the right path taking care of such a troubled and mentally ill person and I am anxious to move on. I was giving too much constantly and it felt like I had purpose. My therapist said he was using me.
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